life is like a rock.

Life is like a rock... from negativesilence on Vimeo.

one short day in the emerald city

here's another reason why i love this city: it's oozing with arts and culture. two weeks ago, vera and i went to see wicked. it's a little expensive, but vera couldn't have said it better when she said it was money well spent.

of course you have to know the story of the wizard of oz to appreciate it. it's actually about the untold story of the wicked witch of the west. basta panuorin niyo when you get the chance.
grabe up to now i still can't get over it, and i'm looking forward to catching the next big show in broadway. hayy dito ko namimiss si nek and des. remember guys when we watched that international silent film fest. that was german right? hehe basta it's about the big, bad dr. mabuse! hehe

anyhow. below are excerpts of some of my favorite wicked songs. enjoy!

Wicked

NO ONE MOURNS THE WICKED

GLINDA:
And Goodness knows
The Wicked's lives are lonely
Goodness knows
The Wicked die alone
It just shows when you're Wicked
You're left only
On your own

Ozians:
Yes, Goodness knows
The Wicked's lives are lonely
Goodness knows
The Wicked cry alone
Nothing grows for the Wicked
They reap only
What they've sown

DANCING THROUGH LIFE

FIYERO
The trouble with schools is
They always try to teach the wrong lessons
Believe me, I've been kicked out
Of enough of them to know
They want you to become less callow
Less shallow
But I say: why invite stress in?
Stop studying strife
And learn to live the unexamined life

Dancing through life
Skimming the surface
Gliding where turf is smooth
Life's more painless
For the brainless
Why think too hard
When it's so soothing
Dancing through life
No need to tough it
When you can slough it off as I do
Nothing matters
But knowing nothing matters
It's just life
So keep dancing through

I'M NOT THAT GIRL

ELPHABA
Hands touch, eyes meet
Sudden silence, sudden heat
Hearts leap in a giddy whirl
He could be that boy
But I'm not that girl:

Don't dream too far
Don't lose sight of who you are
Don't remember that rush of joy
He could be that boy
I'm not that girl

Ev'ry so often we long to steal
To the land of what-might-have-been
But that doesn't soften the ache we feel
When reality sets back in

Blithe smile, lithe limb
She who's winsome, she wins him
Gold hair with a gentle curl
That's the girl he chose
And Heaven knows
I'm not that girl:

Don't wish, don't start
Wishing only wounds the heart
I wasn't born for the rose and the pearl
There's a girl I know
He loves her so
I'm not that girl


DEFYING GRAVITY

ELPHABA: (sung)
So if you care to find me
Look to the western sky!
As someone told me lately:
"Ev'ryone deserves the chance to fly!"
And if I'm flying solo,
At least I'm flying free.
To those who'd ground me,
Take a message back from me:
Tell them how I am
Defying gravity!
I'm flying high,
Defying gravity!
And soon I'll match them in renown.
And nobody in, all of Oz.
No Wizard that there is or was.
Is ever gonna bring me down!

home

frustrated videographer

kawawang janina

And here I thought beauty pageants are utterly boring, if not entirely foolish.

The last pageant I watched in full was in 1994, the glorious age of Sushmita Sen and Charlene Gonzalez. Imagine such lavish spending made by the Philippine government at the time of great brownouts. But all those dark thoughts suddenly disappeared when Miss India gave a bright and shining answer to the question “What is the essence of a woman?” For a while there I thought I saw a white light beaming from behind her head like a halo.

What is the essence of a woman? Whatever that is I don’t think it can be found within the contest’s rigid system that seeks to give a quintessential definition of beauty and of a woman’s very essence. While I understand that the Miss Universe Pageant only seeks to unite a highly diversified “universe,” it does so by disrespecting differences in race, color, culture, ethnicity, and socio-economic background. Let me explain.

Whenever you watch a beauty contest, doesn’t it remind you of a scene from Star Wars, the part where the military droids prep for attack? Each time I watch these ladies prance around and strut their stuff in front of a million eyes I get scared. It’s like being haunted by a horde of Stepford Wives. They all look so serene and perfect, like not a strand of their hair is out of place. It’s even hard to imagine these girls pooping or even sweating.

Because of a certain standard that the judges and we, the spectators, have unconsciously set in our minds, every contestant looks pretty much the same—same long beautiful hair, same height, same bony face, same waistline, same cup size, same set of even, white teeth, and—because speaking in English in the question and answer portion garners an extra point—same manner of speaking. I even heard there’s a particular school that specializes in training young girls to walk, wave, and talk like supermodels or beauty queens. Brrr. The thought just made me shudder. I would rather watch America’s Next Top Model because at least the ladies there have an ounce of oomph, zing, and personality.

It is this this freakin’ standard that has encouraged these people and everyone else to look the same. I mean how could you set one standard of beauty for all the women in the world? Some have even taken drastic measures to try to recreate themselves into the image and likeness of Barbie. In the Philippines, the fascination with the tall, fair-skinned, and malnourished girls continues. Never mind that this country lies on the equatorial zone and naturally our skin looks sun-kissed all year round. Never mind that the bridges of our Asian noses are naturally not as “high” as our Caucasian counterparts. If here, skin whitening pills have replaced vitamin supplements, in other parts of Asia, Blepharoplasty, the eyelid incision that creates the canthal fold, and breast augmentation have become the latest fashion must-haves. In all parts of the world, except in India, Africa, and South America, eating disorders such as bulimia and anorexia have also become commonplace.

Now that everybody looks like everybody, how then do you distinguish who among the clones deserves the highly coveted crown? Yes, dear Janina, this why they conceived a marvelous thing called the question and answer portion.

I will not state the obvious anymore. The mob has spoken, and the upper crust of the social divide has already hurled a mouthful of expletives. In a country where the majority of the younger work force are call center-trained, not being able to speak in straight English is a mortal sin. But just a few words of caution to the high and mighty: feigning an American accent doesn’t give you any claim to fame. It doesn’t make you a genius, because if it does you wouldn’t be taking in calls at ungodly hours for a relatively higher salary (I say relative on account of miscellaneous expenses like hospital bills).

Sadly, it has been generally acceptable these days for beautiful people to be just that: beautiful. And how easily do they get away with the cruel realities of life by ending up married to powerful politicians and business magnates. Just smile, darling, you don’t need to talk. Laugh all you want but whether we admit it or not, we have bred, nurtured, and encouraged the propagation of the likes of Janina San Miguel. Filipinas are known for their resilience, perseverance, and wisdom and they thrive overtly in almost every corner of the world. But we’d rather put the crown on Janina’s head because unlike them, her physical features fit perfectly well into the global standard. GMA-7 came to her defense by implying that nobody has to be smart in a Miss World competition because judges only look at a contestant’s stance. After all, it’s merely a popularity contest, right? Whatever.

But I think to say that she's “bobo” just because she struggled with the universal language is an overstatement. Although when I think about it, if she answered in Filipino, what would she have said? But the thing is I don’t think anyone should equate intelligence with English proficiency. I used to have a classmate who can talk in English for hours without making any sense (and yeah, he flunked logic, took summer classes). On the other side of the ring are very talented regional poets who could not even pronounce “angel” with the proper phonetics.

But what makes Janina a rare exception is the simple fact that she is a beauty queen, and by being so she has a very rare opportunity to represent the country before the world. Most of the aspirants think only of the glamour, glitz, and the post-pageant showbiz career that come with being beautiful, completely overlooking the hard work that must be done away from the limelight. As they say, with privilege comes great responsibility—and I’m not just talking about taking regular doses of beauty sleep. Maybe she’s not “bobo,” just a little irresponsible and naïve. But if she’s wise, she should have known that nobody goes to war without sufficient training and powerful armaments. And if she felt she’s not ready yet, I mean what’s a few more years of waiting? After all, she’s only seventeen years old, right? And we will probably see more of her because as she said, this is just her first beauty pageant ever.

Meaning there could be more. OMG.

Silent Night

Christmas na!

. . .

...and here i was thinking love rewards those who wait. god, i have to stop being bitter.


Apple and Basty

another tragedy waiting to happen...goodluck sa inyo.

Another summer day
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Mmmmmmmm

Maybe surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
“I’m fine baby, how are you?”
Well I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that

Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I’m lucky I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I’ve got to go home

Let me go home
I’m just too far from where you are
I wanna come home

And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life
It’s like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
'Cause this was not your dream
But you always believed in me

Another winter day has come
And gone away
In even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home

And I’m surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
Oh, let me go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

Let me go home
I’ve had my run
Baby, I’m done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It will all be all right
I’ll be home tonight
I’m coming back home

one selfish bastard told me that too.
that i'm bigger than his american dream.
a game of poker and a day of shopping later, he realized something profound:
he doesn't have the balls to remain true to his word.

I can watch this movie every day and cry every time

"Gyeon-woo, can you hear me? I'm sorry, I really can't help it. I thought I was different, but I'm just a helpless girl."

To the next guy...according to Gyeon-woo

1. Don't ask her to be feminine.
2. Don't let her drink over three glasses, she'll beat up someone.
3. At a cafe, drink coffee instead of coke or juice.
4. If she hits you, act like it hurts. If it hurts, act like it doesn't.
5. On your 100th day together, giver her a rose during her class. She'll like it a lot.
6. Make sure you learn fencing and squash.
7. Also, be prepared to go to prison sometimes.
8. If she says she'll kill you, take it lightly and you'll feel better.
9. If her feet hurt, exchange shoes with her.
10. Finally, she likes to write. Encourage her.

*******

To the next girl...

1. Don't ask him for directions, you'll both get lost.
2. Let him drink with his friends, he knows his limit. (plus he's scared of having a beer belly)
3. He likes his food fat- and cholesterol-free as much as possible. If you can, cook for him, he'll like it a lot.
4.When he's angry, he doesn't talk. It doesn't happen all the time but when it does, it could last forever.
5. Don't expect him to remember special days.
6. He rocks at every sport so if you want to win, play word games.
7. Also, be prepared to answer all his questions in the middle of a great movie.
8. If he says he's stuck in Japan with a hot Japanese girl, it means his plane has already landed and he's on his way to your house.
9. He's vain, the best way to hurt his feelings is to insult him physically.
10. Finally, he takes good pictures. Encourage him.

Just because its relevant...for now.

Falling Away by Miguel Escueta

here we go, it’s crashing down around
through the speed as we try to define
doubts re-surface, waves you can’t withstand
we find ourselves here once again
and we’re…

we're falling away
we're falling away
we’re falling away from this

wasn’t it enough to let you feel the sun?
am i not worth every fall?
we’ve gone too deep to just let this fly
so please hold on and let me save us
please hold on and let me save us

how long must i weather this storm?
i’m drowning into your condescending eyes
please bend for me, even just a bit
can’t you see that i am already broken?
and you’re…

you’re falling away
you’re falling away
you’re falling away from me

wasn’t it enough to let you feel the sun?
am i not worth every fall?
we’ve gone too deep to just let this fly
so please hold on and let me save us
please hold on and let me save us

oh… can’t you feel it?
we are falling into the abyss that we just can’t comprehend
oh… don’t you know that
some wounds just never heal