chocolates?

about two months ago, in an out-of-the-way coffee shop, a little boy asked me a question.

"how does that feel? heartbreak?"

surprised, i asked him to repeat his question, perhaps hoping the question would change or he'd change his mind about asking it.

he didn't.

how do you explain such a feeling to a kid when even grownups can't even make sense of it sometimes?

so i told him, "you know how it is in harry potter, when the dementors are nearby? it's kinda like that. you'll be reminded of every miserable memory that happened to you. it will all add up until you can't take it anymore...and then suddenly you'd feel that you're never going to be happy again...that you'd almost wish--i mean almost beg the dememntors to kiss you and suck your soul and let it all end. kinda like that."

"wow," he said, his mind suddenly drifted somewhere else.

"is that how you feel?" he asked. i nodded.

eyes sparkling, he said, "would you like some chocolates? professor lupin gave harry chocolates and he felt better."

i smiled, i almost forgot there's an instant remedy for dementor-related nausea.

"sure," i said. "maybe later." surprisingly, the little boy understood.

***

i think later has already come. and i think i'm ready for it.