Palibhasa Lalake

Disclaimer: Sorry guys, I'm just trying to prove a point.

Sabi nga sa Clear commercial, men are different from women. From facial pore size to dandruff tendencies, ibang-iba daw talaga ang anatomical features ng lalake at babae. It probably doesn’t take a marketing and advertising genius to figure that one out. The physical differences are rather obvious and most of these can be seen and easily measured.

Men usually have greater upper body strength. They build muscles easily. They have thicker skin. They bruise less easily and they have a higher threshold for injuries. In short, men are essentially built for physical confrontation and use of force. Siguro dito nila nakuha yung idea of superiority. Kumbaga sa animal kingdom, the lions, the fiercest and virtually the fastest of all predators, are considered kings because they are well-positioned at the farthest end of the food chain.

What they failed to realize, however, is that maybe there’s more to their physical strength than its survival value. Yes, I’m toying with the idea that maybe their strength is designed for far greater things—for building castles and temples for queens and pre-Hispanic babaylans (or religious leaders which were usually female), for food-hunting in the wild for the family…in short, for slavery.

Now why do I say that? Women’s brain cells or neurons are four times more than that of men, providing them more efficient access to both sides of their brain. If we think about it, women are anatomically designed to be thinkers, and men doers. Diba nga girls, kaya minsan hindi mo maintindihan kung bakit hindi ka niya maintindihan? Well, next time at least you know the reason why.

Of course, this is from a point of view of a woman. Hindi ako feminist, because I don’t think we’re superior to men (even if our superior anatomical features point otherwise). I think men and women are equal—not the same but equal—in terms of strengths and weaknesses.

So when they cheat and tell you that age-old bullshit na “normal yun kasi lalake ako,” what do they really mean? They mean that they are biologically programmed to be sex machines. I hate to give them a sound excuse, but this is not entirely false.

Unfortunately, there really are studies that show that men have psychological and physiological mechanisms that make sexually invigorated one too many times than what is politically accepted. Hormones, particularly testosterone, stimulate a person's sex drive, among other things. Believe it or not, they say that sometimes it’s more of a biological matter than it is ethical or moral.

Ha! Are we supposed to feel better now? But what about the age-old debate on the all-time favorite adobo versus the special occasion-essential kare-kare? They say that while there’s always comfort in eating adobo every day, it doesn’t hurt to sample the rich flavors of kare-kare once in a while. Of course, if this is the only argument available, I will have to agree. As a foodie myself, I can’t stand the thought of having to eat one type of dish for the rest of my life.

But given the limiting consequences of this glaring reality, how come there are still men out there who can simply dismiss this fact and get hitched anyway? Is that because there was a point in their lives when they didn’t want to eat anything but adobo? Or do they just want an adobo to always go back to when the kare-kare becomes nakakasuya?

Of course, if you’re a gourmet adobo, it’s not the kare-kare that you need to watch out for. It’s the wild, tasteless, and cheap talbos ng kamote in the backyard whose only chance of being consumed is through someone on the brink of starvation. Bad news for the adobos: a hungry person can’t afford to be too picky.

Remember in 1995, Brit actor Hugh Grant, then the high-profile boyfriend of English model/actress Elizabeth Hurley, got involved in a scandal with a prostitute. Let me repeat: A prostitute! Of course you’d think, why would any straight man in the right mind cheat on the gorgeous Elizabeth Hurley? And with a hooker for crying out loud!

Holy S! If someone as beautiful as her can be cheated on, what are the chances that we commoners wouldn’t suffer the same fate? What do we have against the cold hard truth that even the most beautiful woman in the world has only one womb, whereas even the ugliest man alive has an unlimited supply of sperm?!

This brings us back to the vital core of this conversation: How much are we really affected by hormones? Is it enough to blur the contrast between perceptions of right and wrong, love and lust? How much are we affected by our anatomical differences? Does that dictate our destiny—or at least our ability to keep our belts tightly buckled?

For me that’s a big NO. And I’m not saying this because I don’t get the same amount of special treatment when I have PMS. I’m saying this because I’d like to believe that we are the masters of our own fate. And just because it’s instinctive and natural doesn’t necessarily mean it's right. What differentiates us from animals is our ability to rationalize, weigh the pros and cons, discern right from wrong, and rise above our primitive inclinations.

However, it seems that some men haven’t completely evolved from apes to full-fledged rational beings. Either that premise is true or they just enjoy the diplomatic immunity that comes with playing dumb. Of course, it’s more convenient to play dumb; it lets you bask in the crimes of passion with relative impunity.

On a lighter note, I think it would be unfair to talk about men and cheating in general. I think the bottom line is people make mistakes, and it has nothing to do with gender. Most of the time, it’s not about the differences in brain chemistry, but the differences in circumstances. On the other hand, we all have an equal capacity to repel temptations; and just the same, gender has nothing to do with that. Men can go on hiding under the skirts of their “manhood,” but that does not give them a birthright to fall prey to vicious vixens and their weapons of mass destruction.

Of course men will always have a different point of view on this. After all, men and women live in completely different realities. While infidelity among men continues to haunt and plague someone who may know someone we know, I still believe that if we dig long and hard enough, it’s not unlikely that we’d find a patch of perfection in this crazy world—a patch untouched, untarnished, and untroubled by the flaws and foibles of the human race.

For those who haven’t found it yet, oh well, sabi nga ng friend ni nek, “Life’s a dick, it’s hard. Fuck it.”